A Load Of Bull

Morning all. Gwyneth here. Isn't it a lulv'ly day ? I have another story to tell from deep in the heart of the village called Dingley Dell. Just to make it clear, this farm where I live in the middle of Wales is called Foxglove Farm. And on this farm we have hens, horses, dogs, various cats and besides us sheep and wildlife. Bet you thought I was going to break out into song (e-i-e-i-o), and I bet you thought only sheep lived here. Perhaps you will meet some of them in time.This time my story involves Farmer Jones and a certain enterprise he was about to

Farmer Jones

undertake...or not ? Farmer Jones is NEVER without his flat cap, on head or in hand...and maybe in his pocket sometimes. The reason I tell you this will become clearer later.
Well as I was saying like, one day I overheard him talking to Mrs Jones, (Oh what a nice kind lady she is), he said "We need to diversify, we are only just keeping our heads above water, (whatever that means ?) a milking cow would be a good money spinner don't you think my dear ? We could use the milk to pour over our breakfasts and to put in our tea. And I'm sure there would be a little left over to sell on the market"
Well Mrs Jones is a long-suffering woman so she is and knows it's a lot easier to agree with him then to disagree. I hear her muttering under her breath something like 'another brain dead idea'. Wonder what she means by that ?
Next Livestock Sale Day comes around. Off goes Farmer Jones in his dark red jeep-thingy pulling a trailer and leaving a trail of belching diesel smoke behind, excuse me while I have a coughing fit....cough!  splutter! cough!. Time to get the girls together and tell them what I've heard. Now us sheep worry that if this new enterprise takes off, perhaps Farmer Jones will sell us, as fleeces are not fetching the best prices at the moment. I do not care to mention what other things us sheep and lambs get sold for, so I wont mention it see...but I can tell you that MINT is not my favourite herb!
Oh, I can hear Farmer Jones coming back now, I'll just move by the gate so as I can see what's happening like. He unloads the trailer and Mrs Jones comes out. I hear her talking to her husband. "That's no cow." She says keeping her distance."You're right there my dear but I was told money was to be made in hiring out this marvelous beast for stud work" smiled Farmer Jones pleased with himself, " It's a bull !"
"I can see that, but, that's what you do with horses my love. Today cows get artificially inseminated I don't think you've thought this through properly. Besides, It's going to cost us a lot to give the beast the correct diet it will need to do it's job."
Farmer Jones takes his cap off and scratches his head, then puts it back on. After some Erumping, (making a noise like a dull trumpet with his mouth) blowing out of cheeks and such, he looses bull into field next to us, then follows Mrs Jones into the farmhouse for his tea.Time to make plans with the girls as we don't want any bull charging around field next to us and eating our beautiful grass and clover, so we don't!
"So, this is what we'll do then," I whispered to rest of sheep, "We'll bribe Shep," one of the farm dogs as he, unlike Fly (Fly smells) gets to go in the farmhouse.

Take this towel Shep

"I managed to...borrow this hand towel from Mrs Jones washing basket," I tells Shep, "I need you to gently place the end of it in Farmer Jones back pocket leaving most of it trailing see."
"I can do that, I can do that." barks silly Shep. Oh, He's not very loyal...for a biscuit or two Bronwyn managed to steal...oops meant borrow from the biscuit tin, seems Shep will do anything! Shouldn't leave the back door open. Anyone could get in without anyone knowing.
Well all went to plan, Shep put the end of the towel into the pocket leaving the rest trailing. Farmer Jones got up from the chair, headed for the field to go and look at his bull. At this point I must say that the wind had blown up a bit like. We sheep stand in our field where we can get a good look at bull in next field. We see Farmer Jones pass the bull and carry on to check the opposite end of the field where a stump was leaning over. "Don't want bull gettin' out." I hears him say...

Chased by the bull

Suddenly bull goes charging at Farmer Jones, Farmer Jones runs faster and faster like. We laugh, only it comes out in baa's...baaa, baaa, baaaaaa. The red towel is doing it's job. Farmer Jones's cap blows off and lands, with bull trampling over it. Farmer Jones manages to get out the field minus his cap. We have NEVER seen him without his hat he looks so funny. Next day farmer Jones sold his bull...once more restoring peace!...so it did.